Hi, my name is Sofia and born in ’82, in Lisbon Portugal.
Crochet was introduced in my life when I was around 10 years old, thanks to my grandmother. She got me a hook and a couple of yarn skeins and taught me how to crochet a chain, practiced for days and when she took a step up and taught me how to crochet rows, I was already imagining myself making these huge chunky winter scarves… but that didn’t happen. I was too impatient overall, too eager to get to the final results, always pushing too hard on the tension and ended up with an uneven weird looking scarf. That’s when I decided to quit for a while before I would completely lose my patience for this.
As time went by I still had crochet on my mind but wasn’t mentally prepared to “attack the beast” I created in my head. Kept telling myself that I couldn’t control the tension and understand the logic behind each stitch and how to be creative with it. ANd with these thoughts in my head I continued ignoring it.
The moment I finally got hooked on crochet started a couple of years ago. I found my self again trapped in the routine of staring at screens: the computers at work and home, the iPad for reading, the iPhone when commuting and of course TV at night… like almost anyone these days. But that wasn’t all.
My eyes were tired and my anxiety disorder kicked in hard!
I couldn’t simply sit down and watch a movie quietly anymore, I had that urge of doing something else like my hands where hyper and needed to be busy somehow. I started searching for simple ideas on Pinterest, began reading blogs on this theme along with a few Youtube videos. I was now into the amigurumi technique, one that I was never really good at freestyling at all.
Counting stitches and rows just felt right!
Suffering from anxiety might sound like no big deal for some of you. A lot of people use the expression “I’m anxious to go on vacations!” or “I’m so anxious to know if I’m passing my exam.” and so on. It’s fine to use this expression for such occasions, but it’s also good to bare in mind that there’s more to it. Although the word sounds negative to me, it is a disorder and it can be severe if not controlled.
Of my own experience, anxiety at a high level makes me feel lost, like everything I do is meaningless, that I’m going nowhere and makes me want to quit my personal projects, even crochet! It’s not easy to put it into words, but it can lead you to depression, but fortunately I’ve been able to manage my feelings and know when to ask for help.
Because of this, crocheting has become my mindfulness exercise, better than when I’m not in the mood for meditating (until I have it as part of my daily routine), and for those uneasy days where I get too nervous/anxious for o reason and need to calm down. Specially because I rather avoid medication and go through a natural path.
Overall, the great thing about crocheting is that when I get home from work, I have something great to dedicate my time to (besides my dear husband and my adorable/crazy/wonderful dogs). I can plan my future projects, organize ideas, research other new ideas or themes for the blog, and ultimately, dedicate myself to something I really appreciate. – And that makes my grandmother proud! 🙂